Today business expert Diane Helbig shares her thoughts on networking - let us know what you think in the comments!

Networking is an interesting activity. There are so many people who do it well and reap the benefits. And then there are the people who don't understand it and hurt their businesses - many times without even realizing it. These people see networking as a free pass to communicate with people in any way they wish.

As a refresher let's visit a definition of networking. Networking is building relationships with people who may or may not need what you have to sell. The operative words are 'building relationships.'

Think about what it takes to build a relationship. It takes honesty, respect, interest, energy, and commitment. You have to be truly interested in getting to know the person, their business, their needs, wants, and interests. You don't assume that you have the right to communicate with them in any way you choose - you ask. And you take time to work on the relationship.

Many people think that once they meet someone at a networking event they have the right to do whatever they want. It's as if the introduction is a free pass; a permission slip. Do they think that the networking event is a common bond that accelerates the relationship building process? If so, I submit they are mistaken.

The act of networking is not a free pass to try to sell your product or service. Nor is it a free pass to sign someone up for your e-newsletter. Remember, people are always defining you by your behavior. How do you want to be defined? As someone who is respectful and more interested in building a relationship or as someone who is more interested in selling their wares?

Believe me, it matters. Some people won't care. I think those people make up a small segment of the business population. They may be the people who aren't interested in building relationships. Frankly, I wonder if you were ever going to do business with them.

Your problem appears with the people who you should be networking with. They want the relationship. Remember that when you network you aren't necessarily looking for business. You should be looking for people you can build a relationship with to help you grow your business - and help them grow theirs. When you are starting the process of building the relationship you don't want to do something that could stop the process. This is why you have to be sure to be respectful at the outset.

So, what can you do to get rid of the 'free pass' mindset?

1. Don't try to sell to people you meet at networking events. EVER! A trick I like to use is to assume that they don't need what you have to sell. This will help you stay out of sales mode and in learning mode.

2. Ask the people you meet if they'd like to receive your newsletter. Actually, only ask the people who you think would benefit from receiving it. Now, how do you know who those people are? By getting to know them, their needs, interests and desires. If it doesn't make sense, don't do it.

*So many people think that the goal is to build their list. That may be so, but remember that you want to build it with people who want to be on it, not by gathering names.

3. Decide that you are going to network with the following goal - to learn something about a couple of people and start the relationship building process. Remember that everyone is there to grow their business. The ones who will succeed are the ones who don't focus on it.

Effective business growth starts with relationships. Building relationships starts with respect and a keen interest in helping others solve their problems. Networking is a great way to gain opportunities to grow your business but it is not a free pass to communicate in any way you want.

Diane Helbig is a Professional Coach, and President of Seize This Day Coaching. She works one-on-one and in groups with business owners, entrepreneurs, and salespeople. Visit her website at www.seizethisdaycoaching.com